The worse two words in the English language in my opinion is “I assumed”. Let’s break it down. First, the word “I” implies that you had no input from anyone else before you made your statement. Second, the word “assumed” is a verb meaning “to accept something to be true without question or proof”. Let me take a few examples and see if you are guilty of making one or more of these statements. For fun, put a “G” for guilty or “I” for innocent to each statement below to grade yourself.
- I assumed you were pregnant since you had gained so much weight.
- I assumed you had moved since I have not seen you around.
- I assumed Yucatan was a location in Mexico.
- I assumed you were picking up the kids.
- I assumed you were married.
- I assumed you could read.
- I assumed you believed in the same politics and the rest of us.
- I assumed you loved me not material treasures.
- I assumed you had gotten over that thing or that person.
- I assumed you heard what I said.
- (Bonus question) I assumed………. (fill in the blanks)
If you scored 90% or above guilty, I assume you are honest with yourself. If you scored under 50%, I assume you are either a Saint which is highly unlikely or not honest with yourself. No replies on the test please as only for self-awareness.
I believe more countries, families, religious or political opposing groups, etc. have battled based on assumptions not all together true with no resolution. There are entire countries around the world that base their existence on conflicts from centuries old assumptions. Sad isn’t that we as humans make so many assumptions!
By the way if you assumed the Yucatan was a location in Mexico you get partial credit, but do you know what it means? Early Spanish explorers made a fundamental assumption way back as the story is told. They heard the natives speak in a language they could not understand. When asked for the name of their country the pronunciation sounded like Yucatan but was simply the natives saying in their language “I do not understand what you are saying.” If you do not understand what a person is saying do you just assume or do you try to understand more?
A gas station attendant overhears something and assumes. He is out taking a break and sees an odd-looking couple searching for something. They are new to America having just came in from Germany. There English is not very good and when by themselves they resort back to their native tongue. In German, the lady is asking her husband where is the “toilette”? He then points where it appears to be from the picture on the door. That was simple, but the attendant is now listening to their conversation and then the husband says in German he is going to get some “Benzin”. The attendant’s ears have picked up another meaning assuming a drug deal is about to go down. So as any law-abiding citizen would do, the police are contacted and within minutes they are upon the man who is trying to figure out what is happening.
This scene reminds me of so many times when I have been traveling to other countries, the challenge in hearing words that may seem to mean one thing really means another. I remember working in Scotland and being asked for a “Fag”. What would you assume? You would probably assume incorrectly as fag in Scotland is slang for a cigarette. Thank goodness I do not smoke anymore because while in Scotland the habit was to share which meant you smoke at the pace of the heaviest smoker. Not good! My wife and I have been married for 46 years now. She is English and we still have language challenges. I wonder if that is differences in language or is it a guy thing not listening properly. I could assume both are partially true. Back to the gas attendant.
Gas in many countries are considered petrol when pumping into your vehicle. In Germany it is Benzin. In France it is I ’essence. Us Americans tend to assume everyone speaks our language but not so. It may seem trivial to assume what your brain is hearing but not if it directly impacts another. The German couple was questioned for hours based on the overheard word the gas attendant assumed as an illegal drug. He heard in the news about all the illegals coming into the country that he assumed this was his chance to due his duty as a US Citizen. He assumed from their actions talking to themselves that something illegal was about to occur. How many times have miscommunication in your family caused a grudge maybe never to be reconciled?
The police officers were responding because they have known the gas attendant for years and have always been an honest person, so they assumed this was a real deal. They came in hot and constrained the couple until they could find their stash of drugs.
After several hours on site at the gas station then down at the jail house, the truth finally came out. It took another person who recognized the German word for gasoline to explain the bad assumption. The gas attendant was mortified that he had made such a reaction. If only he would have stopped to search the truth before acting. The couple were on vacation and not in any hurry to get to their destiny, so they met with the attendant, his wife, the police officers and their spouses for a nice evening meal and a great laugh. The result could have been much worse, but the couple will share their story with their family and friends when home. Hopefully, this event does not deter other tourists from visiting our great country.
I encourage you all the take a step back from the mass hysteria of “breaking news” we see hourly on the news media and search the facts for the real truth. A small fraction of people who drive a fancy car are evil so why react to the innocent? Likewise, many people outside of this country have a totally different perspective of our government system. Are they wrong or just making assumptions without learning the facts?
I have been blessed to travel to many different countries and my assumptions have been proven wrong so many times before I am led to the truth. Therefore, in this day of polarization, may we begin to see things not from what we have overheard whether at a gas station, airport, grocery store, or anywhere else to form an assumption but consider an alternative in a search for the real truth.
Perhaps in the future, we can live in harmony with each other thus making the whole world a better place to live. Until that time, learn to listen with the intention to understand what another is saying. Do not just overhear something and assume. Allow what you hear with your ears to be processed by your mind before you react. What if the gas attendant had asked the couple if they needed help? Isn’t that the neighborly thing to do? Since he is serving as a representative of the gas station establishment, shouldn’t he reach out to help customers? I hope this experience has expanded his ability to listen with the intent to understand and never assume what your ears hear until confirmed with your heart.
Peace to you all.