Who am I? Who are you? Have you ever considered these questions? When you are young, it may be a challenge to be part of a peer group. Afterall, most of us do not want to be left out. Some find sports, others find music or drama, or some intellectual group where you can be creative in using your brain. But what if you just do not fit any peer group. I read a true story the other day where a young boy found his solace while searching the web. That led him to radicalization and eventually became a threat as an online terrorist. His family had no idea until he was arrested for masterminding a huge attack on the anniversary of 911. Luckily, they stopped the attack before it happened. How many individuals who do not seem to fit in are being manipulated into similar events that may impact us in the future? Please check on your kids to understand who they are or who they may be becoming. They may be having an identity crisis which is “a period of confusion and doubt about one’s sense of self, often triggered by major life changes or transitions” according to a quick search on its definition. It can happen to anyone at any time. The young may be vulnerable but what about other ages?
I have been an avid reader since my earliest years and that has led me to become a writer in my later years. It seemed like a natural transition to fill up my time now that I have retired from my secular job after 35 years and needed to fill up my new discretionary time. This is a good thing, but what I have discovered is that I may have been just replacing my busy schedule I had for years with other busy work in order not to lose my identity as a productive member of society. Just recently I read an eye-opening book called, “Envy Enlighted” where I discovered envy can be healthy if used to make you a better person to understand what makes you who you are. It can get away from you and you can spend negative time beating yourself up. You can grow angry about what the other person has or has done. That is not good, or you can grow out of what is making you envy another by positive thoughts. It is all about controlling your emotions.
Now, I am getting to the main focus of this message I would like to share with others. A second book called the “Pursuit of Happiness” had an even more profound effect of my identity crises I am currently going through. What is your definition of the pursuit of happiness? Do you think our founding fathers had a firm understanding? No! They were far from understanding, yet they composed several of the greatest documents ever written by mere humans. The declaration of independence and the US constitution are still documents that have been tested over time and have proven to be solid. Are they perfect? No, but without divine guidance these documents would have been shelved as another failed effort. Did these remarkable men and women have challenges with anger management, political bias, ego, envy, pride, let alone their definition of the pursuit of happiness? There is no mention about the pursuit of happiness in the US Constitution as it was a document framing our form of government and protecting our rights through the bill of rights. Before the constitution was the declaration of independence adopted in 1776 and states, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” This statement, written at an earlier time in our history, is full of hypocrisy as considered in today’s time. First is the reference to men. What about the identity of women? Did they not get a chance to be free? They could not even vote until the 19th Amendment became law in 1920. Another glaring failure was that all men were not created equal until the abolition of slavery on December 6th, 1865, by the 13th Amendment. Time does not stand still for anyone and neither do human conditions. The founding fathers fought about phrases like being equal or what makes a person happy. Most of them had slaves in their households until they died because they justified their belief that it was okay to maintain their lifestyles and the commerce of the day. Can we judge them now that we have a new perspective? We can, but what would have been your stance on this if you lived in this time? I encourage you to read for yourself about the dynamics of the time and do not fall into a greater than thou mentality as all our founding fathers were still mere humans, great as we may think they were.
Washington had a temper though rarely seen but when seen stop all proceedings. Jefferson held onto to his slaves until he died and they were sold to cover his debts. Madison was no angel even if you believe he was based on the play about his demise by the hand of Burr. Both Adams, father and son, served as president but were they conflicted about the pursuit of happiness, and did they have identity challenges? Every founding father had anger management challenges which is why many spent a lot of time in reading scripture and self-evaluation meditation. Some were stoic in nature and others protagonist. They all had big egos whether reserved or wanted all the credit. John Adams and Thomas Jefferson were good friends during the development of the Declaration then fell apart regarding the roles of government then back together as they both near their life’s end. They were constantly corresponding with each other and died on the same day on July 4th, 1826. They overcame their animosity to become brothers in Christ.
What I have learned in my own life is that life is too short to hang on to things that really do not help but prevent your pursuit of happiness. When I was young and building my career, I was focused on accomplishing my goals. You start with a dream, build a set of steps to accomplish the dream, plan to execute those steps, move up one step at a time until you reach your goal. I credit my biological father for giving me the grit to endure the hard steps but without my heavenly father guiding me I do not think I would have made it. Along the way I did a lot of soul searching, asking myself, is the sacrifice too much for me and my family? Looking back, I still have some doubts as to making the right moves, but time continues so you do the best you can. I believe our founding fathers struggled, whether what they created was the best result. In fact, some thought later in their lives that maybe it would not last. So too have I considered my identity now that I am over 70. My secular career is done. I still give myself to my ministry and my desires to document my life in my writings, but I still question, who am I?
Most of the founding fathers based their disciplined life of stoicism. What is that? Look at the synonyms like impassiveness, patience, endurance, indifference and fortitude. All of these words I must admit have failed to be a constant discipline in my life. Lucius Annaeus Seneca the Younger usually known simply as Seneca, was a philosopher, a statesman, and became famous for being Nero’s tutor in ancient Rome. He created many plays, essays and other works of art all based on his stoic approach to all things. Hercules was one of his masterpieces.
I am not saying be a stoic in it truest sense but adapt the attitude of great thinkers who consider their actions before acting. I just finished a book called “Discipline is Destiny” where many of the great leaders of the past and present have adopted the stoic philosophy. At this writing, recognizing I am still alive will learn more on the subject in the hopes of making me a better person and overcome my present identity crises.
No matter what age you are, I encourage you to stop and take a look at who you are and where you are headed from time to time in you life. Take time for spiritual strengthening by spending time in prayer and meditation about your pursuit of happiness. Adjust along the way through divine guidance and keep on moving towards your pursuit of happiness until you reach your ultimate victory.
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